CYCLE OF A DYING
On this December’s day
I walk into the heat of the moment...
There is a burning madness in my throat,
I look upon the dead in these fields of atonement,
I am the long lost general of my army,
My great battle is not on a field.
I will stand up in the empty corners of my mind
Shoulders drooped, head down, but my soul will not yield.
Those cold beams pierce through my window,
Arise to the new night of May,
Lights flashing all around me,
I hear God’s voice in a derelict chapel, I kneel down and pray,
I’m all ears as he creeps to the altar,
Moments later,
Lights that used to amaze me,
Knock on my locked door,
Blinded me.
The tide of a new life washes my sorrows ashore,
In the years of August,
I avert back to that common ancient law.
The women of the forbidden water,
Beckon me into a fiery lost core.
I whisper those three words,
The years of happiness come waltzing back,
Unaware of my curse.
The dying leaves of Autumn ,
Fall from the tree of content,
On the long road pursing that lie they called happiness.
I look back on my years, they’re spent,
As lust prowls around the corners of my cage,
Used to think I’d fight a war with an iron fist,
Crying to the King’s that once were,
I realise, it is the death of a dying atheist.
Balthazar Dominguez & Ludo Dragen
LOVE AND HATE
love, love of knowing when your going
to that specific place,
getting thrill of what may take place
people and faces
chain smoking, toking and overloading
racing to the the repetitive beat
priceless timeless, rhymeless
hate, hate that fucking chase,
why the rush why the haste
we've got all night to bloody waste
drowning in senses
over emotions
explosions of mystical potions
couples tearing
trying to claw some sense of something
burning deep inside
but churning for that sense of yearning
for the girl in the corner waring a leopard print dress and gurning.
Alastair Jedeye DREAMING
Boundless dreams on summer starry nights
cruising far from anxieties
like an old man said
'man can only strive so much'
not really I just made that up
quite pathetic how I sit here and write
racking my brain, all I can think is
oh what a woeful plight
Im hoping thats a shakespere line
if not well only another reason to feel inclined
declined to a sense of being behind
fuck this I resign
I feel useless
given a chance id probably kill you with a thesaurus
my mind like a chorus melodically challenged
porous. life's just going right through us
I say us its really just me
an anomaly,
feeling like this my life is a cacophony of shit and strife
boring, frame less interchangeable only with wasters.
Alastair Jedeye ALIEN MIND.
The complexities of the mind unravel and untwine
Bind with a disproportionate sense of time
Chime till the end of the line
Prime until I rewind back to the sense of reality that I cannot find.
Alastair JedeyeTHE WALL
I met an old man by the river. He stood beyond the banks among the reeds, and I could see he smiled at me. But almost as soon as I saw him, it was as if the water bubbled and rose to become a huge wall. The wall was made of stone like granite, hard, jagged, sharp… and as I watched, the man became entangled in the growing shifting wall.
I looked harder and saw that what held the old, now screaming creature to its face was barbed wire, razor wire and the wall was no longer made of stone but metal, and it hissed and issued smoke from unseen recesses… grinding, transforming, expanding, evil and ominous… The wall smelled rotten and didn’t hold a man, but thousands, and everywhere I looked I saw more until I couldn’t see a wall, only a seething tower of human flesh… shouting, bleeding and growing ever higher into the sky…
I could look upon this sight no more and tried to turn away but realised I could not and I wept and wept tears of blood, so much blood, until there was no wall to be seen, only my brothers, bound and begging for death… pushed so close up against me, chained from within and through me, together so tight I could hardly see the old man across the river among the reeds… smiling at me...
Jon Miscuitten
"and I saw my place in that great walls face
I felt it wasn't fair, but true......though I now know your nature
There is no wall, just you..."
Zakalwe
7th vol, The End of Time
LIFE IN ONES TWOS THREES AND FOURS.
Birth, birth that ecstasy of being in this open space.
A start, start of this hectic race.
1st 2nd or 3rd who cares just give me space.
Space to race.
Race to space.
Confusion, confusion in this dark, dark place.
Life, life? What is lie?
Life is a lie, life chooses who lives and dies.
We have no say to ask or question why.
Life, life is a lie... a lie.
Who says we can’t fritter our life... Our life away.
Because at the end of the day we choose we choose but have no real say.
Work, work is a bore.
When all we want to do is live and soar.
Fly, fly true and straight.
But we who choose cannot dictate.
What blows my mind is how fragile, fragile is the human state.
A subconscious race to a nowhere place.
Death, death, death is a chore.
Moving through life is like a wonderful musical score.
But time will pass and the sheets, sheets will fail, going pale, falling apart.
Only memories in a long gone past.
Bringing an end to this mind numbing farce.
Alastair Jedeye
LOVE IS THE ONLY WEAPON WE GOT..
I found myself in a field surrounded by the dead… dead people, trees plants and the remnants of fallen celestial bodies burnt up and smashed through our atmosphere…. The sight was not alarming though… this hadn’t just happened, although it felt like I, had just happened… to be here, un yet these still twisted interwoven beings, lying so close and compressed into each other and the ground, were not a tragedy… this seeming genocide had happened slowly, over vast swathes of time.. eons and measurements of space unimaginable to my mind…
An as I looked closer at this vast intricate web of many times connected fragments, lying about me, under my feet, I saw a strange beauty… it started, with the sun… shining down in a way that caused this broken webbed vista to almost glitter with… I don’t think there is a word… but there was a feeling, inside me, like light and harmony and joy, not mixed together, but one, one incredible emotion that was so strong it felt to tear through my chest, my heart threatened to burst out of my ribs and into song….
And as I tried so desperately to hold this intense sensation within myself, I think something inside me broke… and I broke down and cried…
….I could not move, or speak or breath but as my tears feel fast about me there was movement, all around as if the roots now shook the trees… in the cracks between the things upon the dead that I had seen there came a light, not from the sun but from souls of all these beings! These things aren’t dead, they've come to life, if they had ever really stopped, though when they rose, they didn’t separate, as one they climbed the mountain tops, and then they flew so high their mass defined the sky above … and fell as rain, to give the people of this world something to love….
Jon MiscuittenTHE FLAW
My Flaw Is A Door
My flaw is a pause in the timescape
Withdrawal from a system that leaves you blinded
Disrupted from a scheduled time list
Rewritten in the bible god is psychic bound to use through the use of political mind tricks
A crime list of international thrivers
Who are judged and binded through bankers with crackpot disguises
Suits and ties cries from the needy demise
I try to realise that the world is a lie condemned to die.......
Alastair JedeyeI NEED TO FOCUS
I need to focus, focus, focused
Intimate sense of remoteness
Bound to a sense of hopelessness
I need to focus
Change the periodic control in us
Melodic patterns of crime
The inner demonic
Alastair Jedeye
I FEEL CAGED
I feel caged.
Enraged at life’s inconsistent ways a political beast locked up in a tale of inanimate clauses with heathen pauses
Forged in pages in pages of nonsensical wastage, created by heretical mages of godforsaken changes
Corrupted by people who know it’s a game but choose, choose to play it for its unmistakable amazement
I know not where or why we are here, only to be just part of its glorified mental genocide of an unfathomable size
We are just pawns in life’s game of kings and castles parcels of delicate cyclescast to the depths of society’s mechanical oil
Not even cogs
Just lubricants to the society we dream we are a part of.
Alastair Jedeye
FUCK YOU
a mind numbing fog hangs brakes and shakes
my internal forces taking paces facing waiting
choosing but at the same time using
I cant control it
that sense of anger I show
but I have no foe
just woe
Alastair Jedeye
CRAVINGS
Why do I choose to do it?
I know how it feels, yet I choose to do it
Again why do I do it?
Craving something I despise
Loathe and hate
My brain is being raped of all emotions chosen
REVERSE,
INVERSE
Spun in a tangle of twisted words
Scared, blurred, my life in a word
Curd, curdled, stewing
Spewing life's shapeless drivel
Rotting with no remorse anger or love
Just there ebbing away, becoming distant
REVERSED
INVERSED
Sober.
Alastair JedeyeTHE TOMB OF SOLOMAN
The ice creep’s into his shelter,
His shadow hugs the fire,
Gasping for warmth,
He casts back his days.
He’s a dead man walking the hall,
His fate has been revoked by death and all his friends,
They remember his days,
And how he whispered sorry to love,
Whilst thanking greed for its riches,
He abandoned all in the end,
Naked in the hall he stands,
Facing his forgotten sins.
Death reaches and holds his shaking hand,
Comfort?
Hope?
Forgiveness?
And leads him to his grave.
Balthazar Dominguez
